Remember this post that I made a few weeks ago? I printed it out this morning and put it on my mom’s computer (she’s not at all computer literate, which means that I usually have to do her word processing). I then forgot all about it, and started watching some old Stargate SG-1 episodes that I have, when all of a sudden, my printer (which is shared over the home network) fired up. This is what came out of it:
Now I must say I was really excited to receive the long awaited instructions on how to use the computer. I was really eager to get started and to tackle the challenge head-on, once and for all.
In eager anticipation, I sat down on my leather bound director’s chair and after wheeling a few times agross the floor (weeeeeeee), I managed to regain my posture and reign myself in, holding on to the computer stand to ensure that I had finally come to a safe halt. I looked at all the instruments and picked up the mouse, determined to follow the instructions to a Tee. However, try as I might to click, double click, treble click, the screen remained black. Dead as a dormouse. I tried coaxing it. It was deaf to all reasonable pleas. I tried muttering. It ignored me. I muttered louder, to no avail. The screen remained black. I picked up my instructions again and carefully perused each and every word. There was no reference to a black screen. Now what was I to do? I was just about to throw in the towel and hand-write everything for the rest of my life, when I was thrown an unexpected lifeline.
In the process of prodding the confounded machine I hit upon a soft button that acted rather like a raw nerve, which depressed right into the side of its guts. All of a sudden some ghoulish sounds of protest were heard and a red and green rectangular cum oval shapes started to flash at me! I ask you, red and green simultaneously! Now we all know that red is supposed to mean stop and green is supposed to mean go. What the heck does red and green mean together? I thought about this awhile and suddenly the solution struck me. Of course! Green means go, and red means go faster. You just have to ask any taxi driver. They know all about it. So I followed their advice and fled as fast as I could – goodness only knows what happened to the computer.
But thanks for the instructions all the same.
This is by far the most amusing thing that’s come my way in a long while…
I’ve got some other things worth mentioning, which will come in tomorrow’s post.