Coding terminology explained

Mailed around the company this morning:

What we say: Horrible hack
What we mean: Horrible hack that I didn’t write.

What we say: Temporary workaround
What we mean: Horrible hack that I wrote.

What we say: It’s broken
What we mean: There are bugs in your code.

What we say: It has a few issues
What we mean: There are bugs in my code.

What we say: Obscure
What we mean: Someone else’s code doesn’t have comments.

What we say: Self-documenting
What we mean: My code doesn’t have comments.

What we say: That’s why it’s an awesome language
What we mean: It’s my favourite language and it’s really easy to do something in it.

What we say: You’re thinking in the wrong mindset
What we mean: It’s my favourite language and it’s really hard to do something in it.

What we say: I can read this Perl script
What we mean: I wrote this Perl script.

What we say: I can’t read this Perl script
What we mean: I didn’t write this Perl script.

What we say: Bad structure
What we mean: Someone else’s code is badly organised.

What we say: Complex structure
What we mean: My code is badly organised.

What we say: Bug
What we mean: The absence of a feature I like.

What we say: Out of scope
What we mean: The absence of a feature I don’t like.

What we say: Clean solution
What we mean: It works and I understand it.

What we say: We need to rewrite it
What we mean: It works but I don’t understand it.

What we say: emacs is beter than vi
What we mean: It’s too peaceful here, let’s start a flame war.

What we say: vi is beter than emacs
What we mean: It’s too peaceful here, let’s start a flame war.

What we say: IMHO
What we mean: You are wrong.

What we say: Legacy code
What we mean: It works, but no-one knows how.

What we say: ^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat
What we mean: I don’t know how to quit vi.

The roof is on fire

So, Development was (for the most part) working away nicely on a Friday afternoon, when we noticed a plume of smoke outside the window.  Of course, the thought of a field trip was irresistible, so we all climbed the fire escape to the building roof, and noticed this:

Yes, that’s a veld fire in the District Six area.  Obviously, we don’t know what caused it, but as everything in Cape Town is extremely dry after some pretty intense heat that we’ve been having lately, it probably wouldn’t take much for a cigarette end carelessly flicked out of some motorist’s window to set that off.

Of course, this being Cape Town, the wind blew the fire across the road:

Now, for those unfamiliar with the area, just behind that other building in the office park lies the N2 freeway.  Hate to think what visibility is like for those motorists right now.

And then of course, the smoke plume gets blown over towards the CBD:

Two things to consider: the aforementioned visibility problem on the N2 (which you can’t even see in the above shot!), and the fact that it’s now 15:30 and people are starting to bugger off from work.

Rush hour this afternoon is going to be FUN.

(At least I leave the office at 18:00 and drive AWAY from the fire…)

Make money — feed the developers!

Our Oompa-Loompas downstairs in Customer Care have figured out a way of making a bit money on the side:

  1. Buy packets of biltong in bulk.
  2. Bring packets of biltong upstairs to Development.
  3. ?????
  4. PROFIT!

Development, naturally, doesn’t mind one bit.

SVN breakages: Wrath of the Sith!

We’ve had some issues within our department previously with the misuse of SVN.  In particular, some folks were merging changes from their development branch to the trunk branch, then forgetting to commit the trunk branch – which would result in hell breaking loose a bit further down the line.

In an attempt to sort this problem out, we set up a war board system that monitors the trunk SVN repositories for any uncommited stuff.  When it finds anything, it starts flashing alerts, and the developer responsible then has to drop whatever he’s doing and fix it.  It’s worked well.

Until today, when we rigged it to additionally play the Star Wars Imperial March…

Door smash!

A bit of background information to start us off – our offices are split over three floors of a four floor building.  Each floor has glass, access tag controlled doors guarding them, like so:

An office door, perfectly happy with life.

An office door, perfectly happy with life.

And this brings us to the door guarding the Development Department.  It’s had a bit of an unhealthy history of not opening properly and flexing just a little whenever it was being opened, although none of us really were concerned about it – we just used our tags to open the things and move through.

Today however, the door decided that it was sick of the perceived abuse that it had suffered, and let us know in spectacular fashion:

An office door, decidedly unhappy with life.

An office door, decidedly unhappy with life.

No humans were hurt in the act of the door performing seppuku, but that does leave us with the problem of getting the thing replaced over a weekend…

What does Vista and my annoying little sister have in common?

A lot, actually. 😛

Vista got installed on my work machine today. The first thing that I noticed about it, it NAGS and NAGS and NAGS whenever you want to change settings or install something. Just like my little sister. I thought that I was done with the nagging when she went off to UCT in Febuary, only to have a piece of software prove me wrong.

Yes, I know that User Accounts Control (Microsoft’s name for the nagging) is a security “feature”, but couldn’t Microsoft have made it less annoying? As it is, I’ve had to disable it before taking out my frustrations on the computer, the monitor and Carl (my office mate).

It also didn’t want to pick up the onboard sound. I’ve no idea how I eventually got that working.

I’m still learning about Vista. Expect more rants when I find something to rant about. 🙂

Oh, and the gaming rig at home will have XP on it for the forseeable future. I don’t want to be nagged at home either.